We've all seen them at one time or another. People who live to ruin your training. I've taken the liberty to categorise these these culprits into 10 groups. I hope you enjoy.
The sprinter
You're quietly going about your dumbbell curls until you hear "CRASH, CRASH, CRASH!!!" In the opposite corner of the gym there is some muppet with horrible running mechanics, unknowingly kicking the living shit out of a treadmill. If that treadmill had a voice, it would be screaming. These types of gym goers don't last long due to a sudden injury from running like an idiot!
Naked changing room guy
Whist innocently walking through the changing room, a gym member unexpectedly engages in friendly conversation. The problem? He's as naked as the day he was born. So you're left there, eagerly attempting to escape from an old geezer who wants to talk to you about his fitness programme. He resembles an avacardo which had been dropped from a height and his wedding tackle is swinging from side to side. Dude, put your pants on!
Smelly bastard
The worse in my book is the classic "smelly bastard!" It's not that this gentleman doesn't remain clean throughout his normal working day. The issue comes from hypothesising that it's okay to wear the same kit multiple times. After all, they are just workout clothes. Well your workout clothes make me want to gag! You can still smell these people from the car park.
The gym guru
You just want to finish your set but no. Here he comes again. Pumped up on steroids, wearing a tight base layer and pulling a smug expression that your just want to head but. You're about to be coached (incorrectly) and you haven't even asked for help from anyone. In fact, you probably don't even need it.
The hog
When you visit the gym, you have the intention of performing specific exercises and therefore you also have the intension of using specific machines. It's really annoying when some inconsiderate pleb sits on that machine and starts sending text messages, scrolling facebook and taking selfies. Also, they practice high sets. There are other people in the gym!
The Trendy One
When functional training is the "in thing" you can safely bet that there will be some weirdo standing single legged on a Bosu, performing a single arm shoulder press and eating some kiwa with the free hand. Practicing "functional" movements are in place to aid with your main compound lifts, not to replace them.
The chatter box
I hate being distracted from training. Sometimes life gets in the way. Work, social life and other commitments happen but when I'm being lead astray for idol chit chat, it's infuriating! I come to the gym to Do some training, not TALK ABOUT training.
The screamer
Sometimes these guys are comical. They pick up a light barbell for a simple warm up set and they already sound like King Kong on his wedding night! They scream, grunt and yelp on each and every rep. In fact, their voice is probably more sore than their muscles the next day. There's nothing wrong with letting one go now and then but don't be silly.
The Traveler
As a massive fan of Giant Sets, I sympathise with these people. Performing back to back drills is a fantastic weight loss tool, it saves time and you can hit more muscles in a single workout. However, if you insist on using giant sets, please don't take up the entire free weights room! When I'm about to use the bench I don't expect some ass hole on the opposite side of the room performing a smith machine squat to say "excuse me! I'm using that!" Aaaaaah!
The nag
This one is more of a pet hate for gym staff. Complaining about all the fore mentioned culprits is excusable as we have empathy. Sometimes, think things through before you wine. Last December, I had a complaint because we weren't playing Christmas Carols in the gym. Seriously!? No one wants to Bench Press to "The Little Drummer Boy"or Squat to "Silent Night!"
If you fit into one or more of these all so annoying category's, please stop! You're an annoying person!
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